It was April 1st, 2022; I had just finished with my client and was returning my broom against the wall after sweeping her hair off the floor. My mother came down the steps and said words that no parent wanted to hear: “Erika you have to get to the hospital – Anisa was just in a bad car accident, and they are rushing her to Cooper Hospital.”
Shocked, I had to continually reassure myself that she didn’t say Anisa was dead. I knew I needed to be with my baby, so that whatever we were about to face, I would be right there to go through it with her. I thanked God that she was still alive and did my best to stay calm until I could get to the hospital and find out what happened.
Upon arrival, I discovered that her friends had also been in the car, and they all had been seriously injured and were in surgery. As we waited in the Emergency Room for the doctors to update us, we prayed for a positive report and kept thanking God that no one died.
A police officer spoke with me and drew a diagram of the accident. A car crossed the median and hit my daughter’s car head-on. Her car caught on fire, and Anisa later told me she heard ticking in the car and the officer pulled her out just in time.
While I was processing that, the doctor came out and informed me that both of Anisa’s femurs were broken, with more damage to the right one, and immediate surgery was required. He informed me the surgery would be hours, assured me they would take good care of my daughter, and advised that I should be able to see her at the start of visiting hours the next day.
Needless to say, I returned home, numb from crying and re-living what I imagined happened to her during and immediately following the accident. I couldn’t imagine what I would see when I could finally lay my eyes on her.
Her twin sister drove home from Virginia Tech after learning of the accident, so I sat in the house and waited. Waited for a call from the hospital. Waited for my other daughter to arrive safely. At that point, nothing else mattered. I just wanted to see my baby and let her know I was there.
By 9:00 a.m., I headed back to the hospital in Camden, NJ, and went up to the ICU. Exiting the elevator, I felt like it was just me and God. Walking into her room, I was shocked by what I saw: Anisa was in bed with an oxygen mask, a neck brace, and 2 bars with her broken legs suspended. Her nose was broken, and cuts were all over her face, including a laceration with stitches from inside of her cheek down to her lip, which later required plastic surgery. I went right to her and whispered, “I’m here baby, Mommy is here! I love you so much! Mommy is here!”
I gently rubbed her and then sat in the chair as the tears flowed uncontrollably. I could not believe this was real. At 12:46 pm, my very good friend Tanzania texted me out of the blue to say hello and that she was thinking of me and loved me. Amazingly, she was an Anesthesia Technician at the same hospital and had no idea we were there.
I responded to let her know that Anisa had been in a serious car accident and that we were in the ICU. Soon after that, we saw her face through the window as she approached the room. That was my first sign that God was with us as I truly believe God put us on her mind at that moment. And to have someone so close to our family working in that hospital who could care for and advocate for Anisa was so reassuring. My friend stayed on top of Anisa’s care, records, and progress, and kept me updated.
There were times when Anisa would call me in the middle of the night, screaming in pain. Due to COVID, I initially could not stay overnight. I would immediately call my friend to question why Anisa’s pain was not being managed properly. The trauma that came with feeling powerless and helpless, and unable to get to my child when she was crying out to me was heartbreaking.
Anisa was also having continuous nightmares of the car headlights coming towards her and hitting her head-on, to the point that her body jolted. Finally, I was approved to stay the night with Anisa due to the support of the night staff nurses and doctors. I was the only one able to calm her storm. She needed her MOM!
Anisa had 4 surgeries in 1 week and we were blessed to experience the compassion of beautiful souls who were caring, along with the misfortune of those who were not so caring; and some downright evil. Some medical professionals left her screaming in pain, as they were not gentle and did not care about the pain she was in. But those beautiful souls – they did everything in their power to make her as comfortable as possible.
Even amid Anisa’s trauma, God gave her the strength to set some people straight and advocate for herself and others she saw being mistreated. It was difficult to deal with people who came into the room with their arms crossed who didn’t care about Anisa, while she sat there helpless and in pain with two broken legs. Eventually, she had no problem reporting these types of behavior to the hospital management.
Besides the physical injuries and challenges, Anisa faced emotional challenges as well. She learned who truly was there for her, as did I. People who we thought for sure would be there to support her slowly began to fall off, and most were gone before she could get out of the ICU. This was devastating, as she’d always been a faithful friend, almost to a fault. And to have those friends that she’d been so faithful to over the years not show up for her after her accident was difficult.
Anisa struggled with depression that resulted from the trauma, the abandonment, and even some of the medications she was taking. It was actually people whom we had not seen or talked to in a long time who sent flowers, cards, money, and checked in on her often. A few family members sent money to help me with gas and parking, sometimes that I had to pay twice a day if I needed to leave the hospital.
My finances began to dwindle quickly because I could barely work and spent all of my money traveling back and forth to the hospital and eating out multiple times a day. I was already very sensitive from everything that was going on, and it really hurt me when those people I thought would be there for me never called or texted to check up on me or Anisa.
Honestly, I appreciated those who did call and text but sometimes even that could be draining as I had so much broken rest due to doctors and nurses continuously coming in the room and flooding my brain with so much information. Being sleep-deprived, supporting Anisa, and trying to keep everyone informed really took a toll on me.
I was being hit in many areas and felt like I didn’t have any more strength in me. I was a single parent who worked very hard to raise 6 daughters the way I knew how, and tried to do right by everyone in my life. I questioned why I kept getting knocked down and couldn’t get ahead. I felt the spiritual warfare and weight of the enemy trying to come to kill, steal, and destroy me (John 10:10).
I was numb, and there was nothing anyone could say to encourage me – no pastor, no friend, no family. I knew God was with me because Anisa was still alive, and I was grateful. Her spine wasn’t injured, and I knew she was going to walk again, but I didn’t know how she was going to recover from the trauma.
During the time of her accident, my other children were also having issues. Anisa’s twin played basketball at Virginia Tech and was considering quitting due to a bad experience. My oldest daughter was really sick with what we thought was COVID but was actually pregnant with my grandson. My ex-husband and father of my three youngest children had recently passed away and his birthday was the day after Anisa’s accident, so they were struggling with that.
Thankfully, my mom held down my household. That allowed me to just focus on God and be there for Anisa. I held onto Psalms 23:4 to comfort me – Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil because you are with me.
God responded by leading me to messages on YouTube. Many times, the title of the message would speak to me, and I didn’t even have to watch the video. I got through this time by staying present. I knew I had to keep my mind from wandering and getting distracted with everything else going on in my life. My focus was on my daughter. I just wanted her to know I was there for her; to help her, and advocate for her.
After about 6 surgeries and a month in the hospital, Anisa finally came home and was sent to rehab, which was only weeks after her surgery. Somehow her orthopedic doctor did not sign off on this and was furious. She was not supposed to start rehab until 4 months after her surgery. After that, she stayed off her feet and used a wheelchair.
Initially, she had to be home before dark because headlights would trigger her. There has been healing, but there is still more healing to do. Anisa is now walking but with a limp. She continues to drive and started a business called Lashed & Sassed, where she can apply lashes while sitting. She is building new relationships and strengthening those that remained true throughout her recovery. She is still recovering emotionally, mentally, and physically, and I’m supporting her the best way I can. Her story is still being told, and we are trusting God every step of the way.
Encouragement for Moms:
If I could be honest, take it one day at a time. Don’t try to figure it all out at once. Situations can become overwhelming quickly and you never know what you will be facing day to day. I found that remaining present in the moment and dealing with what was happening at that time was the healthiest way for me to get through it all. Your mind is programmed to try and figure everything out and if you’re not careful you will be ready to give up. It’s important to just take the journey as it comes, so that you don’t give up. We try to make everything ok, but some days are just not ok, and they are not going to be. So just do what you have to, to get through each day as they come.
Prayer for Moms:
Heavenly Father,
I pray that you will give mothers who experience this type of trauma the peace and the calm to stay mentally and emotionally stable amid such tragedy. I pray that they will have doctors and nurses who are your Earth Angels to assist and guide them with love and compassion through their process. May your voice overcome the doubt, the fears, and the chitter-chatter that would take place in their mind causing them to lose hope or bring about depression. Let them know that it is ok to not be “ok.” Give them signs they can relate to and show them you are a real and VERY PRESENT help in the time of trouble. I pray You give them a favor in every area of their lives – naturally, spiritually, financially, emotionally, and physically. You touch the hearts of many to help them in every way until they can get to a place where they can help themselves again. l rebuke ALL of the enemy tactics that will try to come up against their minds, their heart, and their bodies. Give them divine strength, wisdom, and angelic guidance throughout their journey. Keep them in PERFECT PEACE.
In Jesus Name, IT IS SO. AMEN
Want to hear more of Erika’s story? Watch our Moms Night In conversation on YouTube.
Or watch here on our Faith-Filled Moms Facebook page.
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