Early Palm Sunday morning on March 29, 2015, our lives changed forever. While on my way home to New Jersey home from Ohio, after picking up my grandson for Spring break, I received a phone call from my son’s then girlfriend, Su’Quay. She asked if I had heard from him, as she had been talking to Arsean as he was driving home from work on the Atlantic City Expressway, and then he suddenly stopped talking.
She was concerned that he had been in an accident. I told her I would call Arsean as I knew he would answer, since we were on the road home from picking up his son. But when I called, there was no answer, and I immediately knew something was wrong. I called Su’Quay back and she answered the phone so upset, as people could be heard on the line yelling for an ambulance.
I didn’t panic, but knew I needed to find out what was going on. I called my brother-in-law who was in law enforcement in Atlantic County and my little sister Anna to see if they could find anything out. As we were crossing into New Jersey, my phone rang and my sister Anna advised us to head to Cooper Trauma Center in Camden, NJ.
She had contacted the NJ State Police and verified he had been in an accident and where they were taking him. My sister, Evelyn, was driving and turned the car around, as we all prayed and believed everything was going to be okay.
As we arrived at the hospital, we heard a helicopter overhead. “That’s him!” my sister said. I didn’t want to believe the accident was bad enough for him to be airlifted to the hospital. We were escorted to a room in the trauma unit and waited for the details about my son’s condition. I couldn’t help but think, “Is my son alive or dead?”
Fear began to take over. It felt like a scene out of a movie, where they take you to a little room, only to deliver the bad news. I finally spoke up and said I couldn’t go any further without knowing something. The person escorting us confirmed that Arsean was alive. I exclaimed, “Thank You Lord” in relief!
When I finally saw Arsean, his face looked burned (from the airbag) and his left eye was bloody. With my sister and grandson by my side, we all stood strong and told him we loved him. The doctor informed us that he was going into surgery, as she believed glass had cut his eye, which had to be removed. She cautioned that if his eye was not addressed and repaired immediately, he could lose sight in his left eye.
Arsean would also need additional surgeries. His wrist was broken along with every bone in his face. There was no glass found in his left eye, and the doctor tried to repair the cut through it, but could not completely. After the surgery, Arsean still could not see on the left side. I prayed, “God his sight will only be restored if you heal him”. I knew there was nothing too hard for God, and everyone we knew was praying for him, so I was sure God would answer our prayers and perform a miracle to restore his sight in that eye.
We were not on this journey alone. My family was there with me – my sisters, my niece, my amazing sister-girlfriends, and my church family. My son’s father, siblings, aunts, friends, and military family were also supporting him. We had a waiting room full of loved ones, who let us know they were there with us every step of the way. Not only did they bring love, hugs, laughter, and prayer but also food.
The tremendous outpouring of love and support was nothing short of amazing. We received calls and text messages from near and far. People reached out from many other states, including Alaska, California, Texas, and even internationally, from as far away as Africa. People from all over were praying for Arsean to make it through this, and to recover whole and healed. We later found out his name had been called out in so many worship services that Sunday morning, as word of his accident spread.
The journey would continue, requiring more decision-making, more surgeries, more roller-coaster emotions, and even questioning God. Ultimately, Arsean would go through four surgeries to repair his injuries from the accident. We had to just continue praying and believing God to restore him – healthy and whole.
While we were waiting for Arsean’s eye to heal, he had the second surgery to repair the broken bones in his wrist. Arsean is a drummer who needed his wrist, and thankfully the surgery was successful. My prayers consisted of thanking God for the healing that was taking place and still praying for his eye. We all had hope.
At one point, Arsean thought he saw out of the eye, only to realize it was the other eye. Yet we kept trusting and believing. His third surgery would be for the metal plate inserted in his jaw and mouth area to stabilize his facial structure. I thanked God for each successful procedure.
Arsean was released from the hospital after a week and stayed with my twin sister, who was also a nurse. My son’s spirit was good, but things were different. We were told that he would probably not ever have sight in that left eye because of the damage from the accident.
I continued to pray for God to move and heal Arsean’s eye. I know you can do it, so why aren’t you healing my son? He’s your child, I’m your child and we believe and know you are able. You are the God of miracles. Where’s my son’s miracle?
The following Sunday at church, our Bishop called him up and the church prayed for him. A friend told me after that Sunday, her young son prayed for my son every morning and asked God to please heal his eye. There was a lot of praying, waiting, hoping, and believing, but reality soon settled in.
The doctors told my son that he would have to make a decision within a couple of weeks regarding his eye. If Arsean’s sight didn’t come back, the doctor recommended having it removed and replaced with a prosthetic eye. It was Arsean’s choice, as the bad eye could eventually damage the good eye and fully take away his sight.
It was a scary time for all of us. Removal of his eye would forever change his life. My son was always energetic and outgoing and loved life and having fun. He was so adventurous. We had just celebrated his birthday about two weeks before and he was dancing around the restaurant with a bucket on his head and having a blast. What would like look like if he lost his sight completely?
Now my prayer was, Lord what’s going on? Day after day there is still no sight. Lord, I thank you for saving and sparing my son’s life, but I need you to heal his eye. Day after day we prayed and kept trusting God for his healing and restoration of sight in his left eye, and throughout his entire body. As an evangelist, I’d prayed for so many people over the years that God healed. I questioned why He wasn’t answering my prayers and healing my son.
My son ultimately made one of the hardest decisions of his life. With all the love and support from us – including his girlfriend, his son, and all of his family and friends, Arsean decided to have his left eye removed. Most of all, a praying grandmother, Inez Coney, would come to the house and just sit with him and pray over him and talk about the Lord. It was a love and connection like none other.
This was not an easy decision for Arsean as I know he was believing for God to heal him. However, he felt as though God had spared his life, so he should be grateful and not ask for anything else. The days leading up to this fourth and final surgery were emotional. My son cried and was scared at the ultimate fact of losing an eye. I wondered how life would be after the surgery.
After scheduling the surgery, the hospital canceled and Arsean began to believe it was a sign that God was going to heal his eye and surgery wouldn’t be needed. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case and the surgery had to be rescheduled. The time leading up to the surgery was very emotional, and finally the day of surgery arrived.
Even though Arsean had an amazing surgeon, driving there was a solemn experience. Less than a month after the accident, on April 27, 2015, Arsean’s left eye was removed, and a few days later he returned home. After the surgery, he lost depth perception and has no peripheral vision. It also ended his dreams of being in law enforcement.
Arsean still trusts and believes in God and is thankful that he’s alive. He graduated from Temple with an Executive MBA and obtained his Project Management Certification. He is still very outgoing and adventurous, sometimes even more than I like!
I’ve probably always been a little bit of a helicopter mom. On this journey, I’m thankful God spared his life and blessed him over and over again. However, the truth is I do feel anxious sometimes because of his vision. He is back to driving, rides a motorcycle, and went skydiving. He is an avid Scuba Diver, world traveler, and the list goes on.
In October 2015, Arsean met with the doctor who would make and design his eye. We were able to watch the process and we left that day with my son now once again looking like he had two regular eyes.
God allowed us to go through that, so we could help others, but also to grow our faith and believe in Him. He reminded me of the Power of Prayer! I grew up in a house with praying parents. I especially remember my mother praying out loud for her family and children. I can still hear her voice praying for us.
I truly believe that the prayers that have been prayed over us, and for us – they follow us, keep us, protect us, and work in our lives. I pray earnestly that God always keeps his other eye protected. I still get nervous when he drives, is out doing other adventures, or even when we are out together because of his loss of vision on the left side.
However, I continue to trust God as I have no other choice. I can either pray or worry; I choose to pray. I believe it’s prayer, faith, love, trust exposure, and experience that allowed us to go through this journey and still rejoice. God continues to show Himself faithful in our lives. Even though he didn’t heal him the way we hoped for, He’s still God in our lives.
ENCOURAGEMENT FOR MOMS:
A mother’s prayers really are important! I was reminded that it wasn’t the prayers that I prayed after the accident happened, but it was all the prayers I had prayed for my son all the days and years before, and God honored them and protected his life. When the accident happened, the fatality unit was called because of what the scene looked like, But God! When my little sister Anna and my niece Alyssa got to the hospital, they had passed the accident scene, and my little sister came in crying saying she knew he didn’t make it after they saw the car, But God! Hallelujah! There is Power in Prayer and there is nothing like a Praying Momma!
PRAYER FOR MOMS:
Lord, we need you to help us on this journey. Please, please wrap your comforting arms around my child, me, and our family. You are truly a miracle worker, a promise keeper, and a way maker. So even when we can’t see it or understand how it’s going, we trust you. Father, help us to grow through this experience so that we may be able to help others.
In Jesus Name, AMEN!
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