My husband and I struggled with infertility for seven years, experiencing miscarriages and multiple failed Intrauterine inseminations, before trying In vitro fertilization. Finally, on March 31, 2023, I became pregnant with our son.
Six weeks into the pregnancy, I noticed bleeding when I was at work. After speaking to my supportive manager who was aware of my previous infertility challenges, I headed over to the fertility center and called my husband to meet me.
Despite what I experienced with my infertility struggles and previous miscarriages, I was not worried that something was wrong with the baby. I didn’t think anything was going to happen to my child. Not once. I KNEW after everything we had been through, the baby was going to be okay.
After my examination, I was diagnosed with a small subchorionic hematoma, which meant a pocket of blood was on the outside of the baby’s sac. It was not impacting my son and was a common occurrence with IVF. After being put on pelvic rest, I wasn’t allowed to lift anything or do anything that would put a strain on my lower body.
In a few weeks, the hematoma dissolved on its own. I passed my glucose test with no issues and had a really great pregnancy experience. Until the day I unexpectedly went into premature labor – 28 weeks and 4 days into my pregnancy on September 18, 2023.
Earlier that day, I was at work, like normal. Since my son wasn’t due until December, I was scheduled to go on maternity leave in November. It was a Monday, and my husband and I had just returned from our baby moon that weekend. I was energized and ready to have a good week at work.
After a couple of hours, I started feeling some sharp pains. Concerned, I called my obstetrician’s office to see if this was normal. When the nurse called me back, I realized I called my previous doctor’s office, but by that time the pain subsided, so I didn’t bother to call and inform my current doctor’s office.
At home, I told my husband about the pain I’d felt earlier in the day, and he thought he should take off from work that night and stay with me. I assured him I was fine and that he should go to work. Around 6:30pm that evening I felt the pain again, but it wasn’t unbearable. Overall, I felt fine, except for the pain that would come off and on.
Finally, I called the doctor and left a message explaining what was happening. He called back around 8:30pm and instructed me to come to the hospital, as he was on call that evening. I called my husband and left the house with nothing but my water bottle and purse. I figured this was just precautionary and that I would return home later that evening.
When I arrived at Triage an hour later, I explained again about the pain I was feeling. The nurse replied, “Well, let’s put you on the monitor and see what’s going on.” I soon was informed that the pain I was feeling was contractions, and I was 3 centimeters dilated. I also had a bulging bag, meaning they could see my amniotic sac.
I knew at that moment I was not going home and that I was going to be staying at the hospital. I immediately called my husband to tell him the news and he rushed to the hospital to join me. Things progressed quickly after that.
I was taken up to Labor and Delivery where the doctors tried to stop my contractions and active labor, but to no avail. Seven hours after my arrival at the hospital, I had dilated to 10 centimeters and my son had to be delivered. He was breached and I was rushed in for a cesarean birth.
The neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) team was introduced to me and my husband, and our son was soon born. He was put under light therapy for jaundice. He was also bruised from being turned while he was being delivered. Due to fluid in his lungs, he had to be intubated at 3 days old, which was one of the scariest things I ever experienced, watching a machine help my baby breathe.
The experience took me back to a dark time when my grandfather passed away, after being intubated. Watching my son have to go through a similar experience caused those memories to resurface. But God was faithful, and my son was only intubated for a few days, and never needed to be again.
Although his intubation was short, his breathing was still our biggest issue during his stay. He had no other complications but required oxygen support longer than initially expected, and as a result, was diagnosed with chronic lung disease.
It was a roller coaster experience both emotionally and mentally, because I just wanted to rush the process so my new baby could come home, but we had to wait until he could safely come home with us. And that was particularly challenging. I questioned God why I had to wait longer to bring him home, after all we had just been through while trying to conceive.
That was hard for me because I am a planner, but in this case, I had no control over the plan. The only thing that I could do was rely on my faith and trust God. It was also helpful to talk to other moms there in the NICU. I met a few moms and hearing their stories helped me through this difficult time.
I am so thankful for the support I received from my husband, my family, and my friends. Specifically, both of our mothers, my father, both of our grandmothers, our aunts, our best friends, and my siblings. We had friends send money so we could eat out while we were at the hospital. My mom cooked for us. My sisters helped clean up and organize our home. Our family came and visited our son when he was in the hospital, they called, and they sent text messages. Their love and support really showed us that we had a village.
After 89 long days, our son was finally able to come home. That day was 10 days after his due date. Since then, he has excelled tremendously. God showed us through this experience that whatever He brings us to, He will bring us through.
Encouragement for Moms
If you are a NICU parent, you are a part of a special group of people. No one will ever begin to understand what a NICU parent goes through unless you have experienced it yourself. I would suggest finding support whether that be with family or whether that be with support groups or a therapist. Support is the biggest thing because each day in the NICU is different. You never know the type of day your baby is going to have. There could be a setback that you were not prepared for or there could be a milestone the baby has not yet met. It is important to have support and someone to talk to and lean on, so you can unload all of your feelings and fears.
Prayer
Dear Lord, Thank you for the gift of life. Thank you for healing those of us in our recovery from pregnancy and thank you for the healing of the babies and all staff supporting in the NICU. Lord, we ask that you put a hedge of protection around every family and give them the resources they need to continue to go to the hospital every day. Please give them the strength to be there for their babies. Help them also take care of themselves, and also be an advocate. Lord, I asked that you cover every family that Is in the NICU or has been in the NICU.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Want to hear more of Da’Shonda‘s story? Watch our Moms Night In conversation on YouTube:
Faith-Filled Moms 