I Remember His Hands – by Dr. Nakishia W. Bailey

I had the BEST Father in the whole wide world. My father was the oldest of ten, and not only raised me and my younger brother, but he also assisted in the upbringing of his siblings. He retired from Chrysler-Newark Assembly after 39 1/2 years while starting and operating his own exterminating business (Bug-Rite Exterminating) and serving our community.

My father taught me all I know about relationships, business, work ethic, and service. He was my first date, and my role model for how a lady should be treated by men. My father is my first love. He is also a great-grandfather. I have a 19-year-old daughter who has never had to ride the school bus – because her Pop-Pop – or Big W, as she calls him (she is Little W), has been there to her drop off and pick her up since kindergarten. He had never missed a milestone in her life until we lost him.

He was a great servant to all people and an asset to our great community. While at Chrysler he served as high-ranking union official. He served as Treasurer of the Coalition of Black Trade Unionists, VP of his Civic Association, provided pastoral support to our pastor at Canaan Baptist Church, and ran up to 10 miles a day! He also reactivated the Delaware chapter of A. Philip Randolph Institute and continued the annual tradition of hosting the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King prayer breakfast. If I had to choose one sentence to describe my dad, I would have to say he is my EVERYTHING, and I thank God for choosing Wilson Williams Jr. to be my dad.

My Dad loved walking and running every day, at least 10 miles. He loved to be outside. After suffering a heatstroke that damaged his kidneys, they started to fail.

I never thought I would lose him until the very end. My father passed away in the early morning on February 4, 2022, at 1:08 am. Our God is so great that He prepared me for this loss. The prior Monday, I felt like I was going to lose my dad, and I stayed in prayer ALL week.

My Dad was my everything. How do you move on from losing everything? The only way to move on is with prayer, faith, trust in God, and support from loved ones. I had all of that. My husband, David, my daughter, Alexis, our close relatives, and my church family continue to keep me together. My Father also kept me together. I could hear his words in all that I did and do! I could feel him guiding me through all of the choices I had to make after he passed. He even guided me through the planning of his funeral. It is so crazy to me. I remember him telling me unexpectedly how he wanted his funeral program to look. I am thankful.

Prior to his passing, he was very intentional about taking pictures. It would drive me crazy! Now, I am thankful. He also had a very intentional conversation with me on the phone, asking meaningful questions like:

• Has Alexis decided on what college she will attend?
• Are you happy with your job?
• Are you making the most money that you ever made?
• Does David like his job?
• Will he retire soon?

It was crazy for him to ask these questions out of the blue. I replied:

• Alexis is going to Delaware State! He approved.
• I love my job, and I am making the most I ever have! He approved.
• David loves his job and will retire soon! He approved.

My Daddy was making a checklist. I later found out that my father had full renal failure and rejected treatment. He decided he would go when the Lord said so and did not include me or anyone else in the decision. He made this checklist and was at peace. I am at peace with his peace.

I do not feel that I have lost him. I feel and hear him every day. It took me a long time to get here. I have gone through denial and anger. I have been mad at him and mad at God. I have had to fight others to hold onto his legacy while continuing to work full-time, and being a mother and wife.

That awful morning after I lost him, I was asked if I wanted to see him. I did. My husband and I went into this cold room and my dad was on the gurney with just a sheet over him. The first thing I did was grab his hands and I said to him, “Daddy you can rest now! You have done all that you needed to do!”

After reflection and prayer, I drafted a poem for my Dad:

His Hands

When I was little, I marveled at how strong my dad’s hands were.

I held them all the time and followed his every move and never let his hands go.

He used to call me the Tape Recorder

When he would go out to bowl or whatever – My Mom would say – Take Nakishia with you and he would say – Come on Tape Recorder

He always held my hand.

I watched his hands build cars at Chrysler and prevent injuries. I watched his hands spray pesticides.

I watched these hands make flyers and sell tickets!

I watch these hands bowl and I watched these hands play volleyball.

In church, I watched these hands count money for over 25years.

His hands guided me throughout school, and as I watched him serve God, he handed my hand to God as I accepted Christ.

When David found me, my dad placed my hand in David’s hand.

His Hands

When Alexis was born, I watched her hand replace mine in his and I was overjoyed. He even taught her to drive! He poured his entire self into her! She was Little W!

If he were here, he would say, “come on now come on now you are talking too much!”

I watched my dad hold Diana’s hand in Holy Matrimony.

His Hands

When I found my career, he was ecstatic! Any employer that hired me really got a deal. They got two for one. They got me and my dad. They had the upper hand.

When he came to Canaan, I watched his hands direct the ushers, clap on the pulpit to his favorite songs, and I watched him raise his hand when the Pastor preached about Paul. I watched his hands cut off the lights in the sanctuary when it was time to go, and I watched his hands open and close these doors for any and every event happening at Canaan. I watched his hands embrace all of Alexis’s circle and be their Pop Pop – but to her he was Big W. I watched his hands deliver the Canaan Newsletter each month to his circle. I watched his hands folded across his chest in the pulpit.

In service, I watched his hands give out toys, food, coats, and school supplies. I watched his hands hand out PPE and Covid Tests. I watched him participate in the annual Cancer Walk with the Canaan for Life Ministry and with Angel Tree. I watched these hands register people to vote! I watched his hands raise up in solidarity against wrongs to make them right! I watched his hands help the least of these.

I watched his hands take care of so many people! These hands took care of Aunt Mary Nell. These hands called my Aunt Alma and rant and raved about his precious Alabama Football!

I watched these hands shake the hands of some of the most influential people in the state, region, and the country and I watched these hands travel around the world.

I watched these hands wave at people when he walked daily. These hands sent out spiritual posts daily to over 5,000 Facebook friends. These hands called me daily!

When he passed away the first thing I looked at and touched were his hands! These hands once used a colored only water fountain. These hands once picked cotton. These hands worked so hard and now they were able to rest.

I am okay Dad. I am so thankful that God chose you to be my Dad! Alexis and David are holding my hands now! I am still holding onto God’s hands that you taught so many years ago.

Rest well W, you earned it! Th poor boy from Alabama has his crown and that is way better than a championship! Roll Tide!

Encouragement for Moms:

Our God is so faithful. He will never leave nor forsake you. I stand on Romans 8:28 and Proverbs 3:5-6 and know that God is always here and in control. He will be your comforter. If you trust Him, you will see your Father again and all of your loved ones who died in Him.

Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 73:26, “My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever.” Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.”

Prayer:

Thank You, my heavenly Father! Please calm my heart about the loss of my earthly father, and comfort him in Heaven. Please tell him that we miss him dearly and that we are doing our best to find joy in knowing he is with You. Thank You for loving my dad and making the way for him to be there with You.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Want to hear more of Nakishia’s story? Watch our Moms Night In conversation on YouTube:

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